I’m not in the habit of writing personal blog posts.
I'm not in the habit of writing personal blog posts.
When I have gone through challenging or transformative periods of my life, the approach that has typically worked best is for me to avoid focusing on myself, and instead to focus on others and how I might be of service (sometimes this means minding my own business).
This is an entirely selfish approach (although the key is really "no strings attached" service).
Someone always has it tougher.
So, it's a great way to see things in their proper perspective.
It's also a great way to ward off self-pity and to deal with fear (if that is happening).
By the way, people who offer the useless advice to not feel or think certain things should be ignored.
I recommend pinching them immediately after, and instructing them to stop feeling pain.
Then tell them to meditate for a minute without a single thought popping into their head, and get back to you.
Focusing on other people and being of service is a great way to channel our actions, and to distract ourselves from feelings and thoughts that are on repeat, and not adding much to the general situation.
Many problems often solve themselves without much help (I've found at least with this approach).
In fact, taking the two previous sentences, this approach has often helped me to avoid making my problems worse.
Moreover, a sense of purpose and well-being may result from not being a scumbag, especially if you happen to be personalizing events that pretty much have nothing to do with you (it's just one's own allotted time on the shit end of the proverbial stick). This sense of well-being comes regardless of one's circumstance or other people's opinions, both of which may be an unreliable barometer for both good and bad times.
So, I think this approach is right as a general principle-- namely not being overly self-focused and being of service to others.
It has benefitted me at different times, and enabled my character to grow thru adversity. It has also enabled me to achieve my objectives.
However, when practiced as a discipline earnestly (and that means daily and as an approach to life), it has also presented me with deeper paradoxes.
The primary one is that what works at certain times of one's life, does not work (and is even inappropriate) during other periods.
Also, striving to be good may invite what appears to be its opposite into your life.
I do not say this lightly. Experts, far better than me, seem to agree.
So, that is an important thing to be aware of (and on guard for).
Hopefully, with a bit of self-responsibility and luck/grace, one can contend with that too.
But, contending with that may require, I have also learned, recognizing the darkness in oneself (in that Jungian sense) and owning it, even using it.
So that is my vague qualification for why I am posting this personal blog.
Namely, for now, in this period of my life, focusing on myself is in fact what I need and what I want.
And, I also think owning the darkness, is good too.